Musical is killing me :(

So I'm still working with the musical which is brutal. I am kinda having fun thought because I love doing sound and working with stuff like that it is just long and tiring and I really miss my partner. Last night we had a heart to heart about how we see each other which turned into a slight argument in how neither of us can take a compliment really. I am willing to put the effort in to help her see what I see in her. I think now that I'm getting close to the end of high school going into college being pushed into the REAL! world I am seeing that I'm gonna need to put effort into the relationships I have with people. As scary as the real world feels to me I think I might be ready. Can we ever be ready though? I'm not sure I have to get ready to go. I get to see my partner for a little while today than more musical... FUCK!!!!!! Cya guys!

So I feel like shit!

Okay Blog, I feel like crap today. I had a good time just spending some time with my partner but that was about it for the good feeling of my day. I just woke up not feeling great. My body is just blah... Im depressed and it's lame I hate it. Musical is looking more and more like it's gonna kill me. Tomorrow there is a really long rehersal so I have to get up extra early to get there on time im bring a lot of food haha. Im hoping this little funk I am in will leave me soon. I really would rather spend time with the partner but sadly not gonna happen for a while. Im starting to feel a bit better Im chatting with my partner and they are making me smile. I love my partner. I actually told her that a few nights ago :) It was awesome I ended up crying happy tears Ive never had that happen. It's cold here today...I am notttt happyyy!!! I want some warmth back here. Lol so I see that my partner is just as random and crazy as me YAY! lol okay so I feel better now. Thanks Blog and to my better half.

Missing!

Signing my life over for musical.

So I got in from the dance. It wasn't bad at all not many people there and my friends weren't dancing but my partner and I had a great time lots of laughs smiles..kissing.. haha. Im not feeling so great now though my cold is coming back and my mood is being odd. I sign my life over to the musical at my highschool tomorrow. Since next week the shows start. Im feeling so tired right now and super low... I dont think this is good. Hopefully some sleep will make me feel a touch better. I don't know... okay yawning so much my eyes are watering sorry guys ill post tomorrow if i can Musical first than blogging. Lets hope this funk im in goes away. NIGHT!

Dance in less than an hour.

Did I go get ready? Yes I did I showered ironed my clothes and even did my hair. Im just waiting around now before I leave for the dance. Im excited yet nervous at all the same time. Im not sure how many of my partners friends are gonna be there so that has me a little unsettled. I worked hard on my hair so hopefully people will like it. I'm scared to slow dance though. I'm not very good at it and Im extermly akward.She's something special I don't want to screw this up. Well I best get going and do the finishing touches. I might post when I get home depending how tired I am. Lets hope this goes well!

Non-sense

Alright, I am not to sure how long I will last blogging. I never have much to write...or maybe I just don't think anyone would want to read it. I'm 18 just finishing high school and enrolled in community college for next year I'm going to take recording arts,become a sound engineer. I've had to do a lot of thinking and growing up pretty fast in the past couple of months. It's made it hard for me to connect with people I find. I always feel slightly distant to them, like I can't feel what others feel in the moment. I find a connect more with animals than anything really. I know that sounds stupid to some but a few days ago I was at a pet store I was feeling uneasy (I have anxiety issues) There was a pen that had bunnies in it you could pet them. So this one bunny he wouldn't really sit in one place at the time but when I reached in to pet him he stayed there. It made me feel better it made me relax it's like he knew I needed that. I have a hard time emotionally connecting with someone. When I feel emotional I will most times just hide away and not let people in which is hard for the relationships I have with family friends and my partner. They are understanding though but there are days I know it's hard for them to communicate to me when my mind is just not interested in what they have to say. I will get better with this in time I hope. I wonder how many of my friends have blogs... I wish to not ask though. There is a dance tonight at the highschool... I am going with my partner it's like 10:30am..I have nothing to wear I am still in PJ's and look like hell haha. I should probably clean my cave as my mother refers to my room.I'll post either later today night or soon! cya guys!

Missing Screws,