still angry still depressed still sick

im fucking angry still my dad just started on me about not liking yet another job. fuck him fuck everybody im upset i keep crying on and off all day and it feels like im swollowing glass. If I call in sick tomorrow i know my dad will chew my fucking head off because hes that much of prick i havent had time to spend with m girlfriend in like a week or more and i hate that i feel like were drifting im depressed as hell and i dont have therapy till tuesday so i might end up quiting by then because i just cant handle the stress of it. im overly emotional and my fucking father doesnt fucking understand that. im sick of putting on a face in front of everyone. I hate my father i hate my family. I just want to move out on my own do my sound recording be done with college and just live alone forever. why cant i be fucking normal like the rest of my friends go to work and function i cant do that i end up feeling like shit and crying. i want to be normal but i fucking know that will never happen adn if someone fucking comments with that no one is normal i will fucking rip you in half!

fuck this fuck that fuck the world

i work a fucking job that im start to hate i hardly get to see my girlfriend i hate that and im scared its gonna fall apart proms coming up big fucking deal i dont care anymore i dont fucking care about much im crying my eyes out im fucking waiting for my head to explode. I fucking hate everything! i jsut want to be sitting with my girlfriend somewhere alone just talking to her... holding her anything... anything at all.. i just need her... i just want everything in my life to fuck off for a bit i wish i had my own place that she could stay at too everything feel like shit lately im sick as anything and i know i wont be better by sunday or even monday. I just want to cry all the time... i just want to sit with her and cry with her... i hardly ever cry in front of people but i just need a hug from her.. maybe this si whats bothering me is not having her around as much.. maybe its because everythings starting to change..fuck this okay fuck everything im done with so much now... im gonna sleep till i work for the shit store...

It's been a while..

So I finished Musical and my co/op placement... now off into the real world to find a job. Ive been job hunting just have to keep hoping. I've been a little odd lately, I had a wonderful day a few days ago with my partner is amazing. I know I love her she's so perfect in my eyes. I've had a lot on my mind lately like I don't sleep much anymore and just UHG!!!! I'm scared of screwing up my relationship. I try really hard to keep myself undercontrol because Im scared of losing control and scaring her. I guess I just have to keep working on this. I've been playing alot of Sims 3 lately lol. It's wickedd...fuck i need a life. anyway off to eat lunch CYA!